Joel Byron Barker

I hate word pollution.  I feel angry when the public is subjected to poor phrases that are catchy and torturous to the mind.

Do the Dew. <shiver>

There is one that I hate perhaps above all others. Not that it was particularly bad at first.  Somewhat clever and well connected to the product.  Posing a question, it begs a response.

But then we were soaked in it.  TV, print, radio, I suppose that there was sky writing as well.  Why not?  It was two short words.  Put it everywhere.  I grew tired of it.  We all did.  Poor grammar is only cute for so long.

Other organizations quickly realized the phrase was delightfully modular:  The poorly worded question could be asked of any noun – and often somewhat inexplicably of verbs as well. “Got rock climbing?” I don’t really get it.

The “got milk?” campaign has lived too long.  It is in fact 16 years old.  I have waited patiently for it to fade of its own accord, but it seems to have an eternal life.

I am now on a campaign to rid the world of the “got blank?” construction using the most powerful weapon that I can wield: public shame.

Won’t you help me to rid the world of “got stuff?” shirts?  If we all join together and show our solidarity, the “got something” will shrivel before our might.  Space will be made for new, lively memes.  Act now:

Join us today. Visit cafe press right now and make an order for the anti-“got blah de blah” message. By simply wearing this shirt you will help to save America, indeed possibly the entire English speaking world, from banal phrases and poor grammar.